Sat night

Well today was a good day. I got up before my daughter and got to have the house to myself. I read the new Tori Spelling book (which is really addicting gossip but not lol) in peace and quite, no child yelling, dogs fighting or tv on. I miss the schedule me and my daughter was on. She wouldnt get up until 8 am and I would get up and shower and get ready at 630 and have time to myself. Now I just want to sleep since I dont get much at night now. I dont remember being this tired in the last trimester with my daughter. I guess that happens with running around and not being able to break whenever and nap! I got my carpets cleaned today I love the kirby sweeper its awesome I feel like our home is clean now. Well besides when i let the dogs in, this red dirt down south sucks. I never thought it would make such a mess in the house. I can sweep the tile floors all day long and its still dirty. I really miss our old life in PA. Well I mean I still want the new baby and all that I guess I just miss the place. I have always lived up north and thought the south would be nice and so did my husband. Well we are finding out quick that its not what we thought it would be at all. We miss the mountains, and fall was our favorite season, leaves changing, cooler weather, fire pits, and football ofcourse. Well I dont think we will have any of that down here, besides FOOTBALL!!!  Im really starting to miss home today. Its more because my grandpa that I am very close with is going down hill with cancer pretty fast. We dont know how long he has and the doctor really doesnt want me traveling. She didnt say no,but just weighed the risks for us. My husband is trying to save up time at work for when the baby comes incase there is unexpected emergency and he needs to take some time. We dont have family or friends around here that we can ask to help. The only bad thign about being so far away but good at the same time lol. Plus my cousin that I am really close to is pregnant too and she is moving into her first house together with her boyfriend and I miss her a lot. We are so close and she was getting close to my daughter and we are both having little girls and I want them to grow up together and know each other, and I want to spoil her daughter like she has mine ( good and bad) I really miss my husband too. Since he is on third shift we dont really get to spend a lot of time together. He tries to stay up wo spend time with us on the weekends when he doesnt have to work (which he doenst get paid for, downside to salary) which i love but sometimes sucks cause hes tired so hes cranky. I never thought sleeping alone every night and not seeing him would be so hard. Its more like having a room mate. At first I liked it cause I was taking really good care of myself and didnt feel bad that when lexi (my daughter) went to bed I went and took a hot bath relaxed and pampered myself. When hes home I tried to spend time with him, so this was different thought I would like it more. The newness has worne off lol.  So I guess Im getting to that emotional state in my pregnancy, everything is so depressing some days and some days im on cloud nine.
The good thing that has happened to me the last few days is that I have started a plan for me. I want a chanellnge for me in life. I mean being a mother is a reward, but I want something that I can achieve in a different way. I made a list of things I want to do in life. Not like a bucket list, but things that I have wanted to accomplish before I was married and some now that I am married and a mother. So that has put me in a good mood when I work on that. Plus the other good thing is that right now is nite nite time and my daughter is cuddling with me on the couch. I love these moments in the day, she is growing so fast, and now with another one coming I dont want to lose these moments with her or let her forget these either. Might sound crazy but I never want any of my kids to ever forget that I love them and want to cuddle with them. I want the loving kids lol, I know you cant choose them but I want to make them that way lol. Well I think I have said enough for today, and I really want to just cuddle now and love on her. Who knew you could love someone like this right, being a mother is AWESOME!!!